Scharme Shown

Scharme Ann Shown of Winston-Salem, NC, died peacefully on Wednesday, July 8th, 2020. Born to Jane and Jesse Wigginton on August 14th, 1938, in Lexington, Kentucky, Scharme grew up in a large, close-knit family and spent her happiest childhood hours with a band of cousins and on horseback. Showing horses by the age of four, she continued to love horses all her life. After graduating from Henry Clay High School, she attended the University of Kentucky where - thanks to one of those many cousins - she met and married Tom Shown. His medical training in the Army led Tom, Scharme, and their three young children to live in many different places including San Francisco, Colorado Springs, and Germany. Scharme always recalled those years in Europe with deep happiness - she appreciated having her small family together, exploring new cultures, eating new foods, meeting new people, and forging friendships that would last a lifetime. Scharme’s family moved to Winston-Salem, NC in 1970 and settled in. As her children grew older, Scharme began to build a career around the sale of women’s clothing. She worked as a buyer for clothing shops and also sold lines of clothing from her home, which she turned into a clothing salon seasonally. She loved her customers and they soon became friends. She knew not only what they liked, but also the types of clothes that helped them feel good about themselves. Her daughter recalls realizing early on that her mother was not selling clothes so much as she was helping women feel happy and confident in their own skin. And she was really good at it. More than anything, Scharme loved togetherness. And it’s her enthusiasm for fun and family and friends that she will be remembered for most. She loved bringing people together - at Christmas parties, on Derby Day, and at the beach in summertime. She loved cooking for a crowd and playing games, especially cribbage.  She loved being with both new and longtime friends in her book group, game group, and writing group. She loved being with Kentucky friends and family and betting on horse races at Keeneland. She loved her Christmas trips to Las Vegas with her son Marc and sister Alice. She loved, maybe more than anything else, spending time with her three grandsons, who adored her as much as she adored them. There weren’t, in fact, many things that Scharme didn’t love. Sushi… snakes… losing at the horse races… anybody trying to help her clean the kitchen. But the one thing that she truly didn’t like was discord. She saw the good in everyone and wanted more than anything for people to see it in each other. She wanted people to look harder to find commonality, to work harder to forgive, to give each other the benefit of the doubt. She wanted kindness to be the default. And anyone who knew her knows that kindness was her default. Along with generosity. These are the traits that she brought to being a daughter, a wife, a mother, a sister, an aunt, and a friend. She was the person you could call at 3 am and ask for anything. She was the person you wanted at your side when making a difficult decision. She was a person who offered – always – a listening ear, acceptance, and reassurance. Scharme died completely at peace, ready to be reunited with loved ones who preceded her in death - her son Steve, her brother Sonny and sister Alice, her parents Jane and Jesse, her daughter-in-law Penny, her ex-husband (and yet best friend and life’s love) Tom, and - of course - Blueberry and the many other dogs she has loved. Scharme leaves behind her son and daughter Marc Shown and Leslie Shown; her three grandsons Walker, Lucas, and Finn Voichick and his fiancee Abigail DuRussel; her son-in-law Jon Voichick; her nieces Lara Ballard and Ashlee Rockers; many deeply loved cousins and friends; and her ever-faithful canine companion Gigi. Given the times, it’s unfortunately not possible to bring together all those who want to share their love for Scharme and their grief at her passing. It is a loss for all of us to not be able to gather. But we hope you will reach out to one another and find a way to celebrate her life in smaller gatherings. Scharme liked small gatherings best - she will be there in spirit. And maybe make an exacta wager in her memory on Derby Day - she’d really love that. If you would like to make a donation in Scharme’s memory, please consider St. Jude’s, 501 St. Jude Place, Memphis, TN 38105, the ASPCA, Gift Processing Center, P.O. Box 96929, Washington, DC 20077-7127, or the Parkinson's Foundation, 8830 Cameron Street #201, Silver Spring, MD 20910.